Yes, I have left the BLE membership. This was a sudden decision based on a spiritual calling and tugging on my heart. After a few days, I had a sudden realization that I have #codependancy issues with our amazing BLE community, and it became clear that remaining in the membership was not only stunting my growth but actually choking out my whole purpose and reason for recovering from food addiction in the first place. I still don’t know exactly what my “calling” is, but I know that it doesn’t revolve around food addiction recovery. I know I was meant to recover, in order to heal. In order to flourish, and thrive and accomplish whatever it is God made me for.

There is so much more I desire to type out in this post, but for the sake of my #codependencyrecovery , I need to tell myself and you, that you don’t need to know whether or not I am bright. You don’t need to know how my recovery program is going. Your beautiful miraculous healing journey is not actually dependent on my involvement in it. This hurts me to say, likely far more than it may hurt you to hear it.

I know some of you may be pissed at me for leaving. Or even feel abandoned. And again, as I heal from my codependency issues, I am learning that those things are simply mine to surrender and let go of. But they are not mine. ❤️❤️ you have my love, you have my affection, you have my sincerest respect, but I am also excitedly moving forward in my own journey.

And beneath all this difficulty, I am also overflowing with joy! I am thriving in a freedom through my higher power that I’ve never had despite a lifetime of devout religious living. I can’t explain it… but my mantra sums it up well… “the offering is not the outcome”.
The seed is not the finished plant.
A sacrifice is always giving up something lesser for something greater. (@susanpeircethompson said that one to me first). This is a sacrifice. And friends… I am getting so much more in return! It is truly amazing.

So I journey on. One day at a time. One weighed and measured meal at a time. One prayer at a time. One surrender at a time. Every surrender is painful, and yet lightens my load. I am good, I am healing.
#surrender #journey #brightlineeating #foodaddictionrecovery #journeyon