I miss my cat. I can still cry on command if I think of my cat when she was a kitten and I saw her last day 24 years later. I have no idea who I am talking to... those girls from a previous video? and we were just hanging out?

Those green things... I gotta watch a show on that stuff... they just tasted as you think they would... grassy pepper.

It was my last day and I planned to eat that burger. There was a $54 burger challenge at Crazy Cracker's on St. John's. The plan was that we would all, all of us at this hostel-type place I am staying at,.. we all just go into town, get stoned and watch me eat this huge burger challenge, go to the Spyglass and get cheap Margaritas and fish tacos, and I would see the cute girl that is a hostess and tell her it was my last day,... and etc etc etc... I don't just want to dive into surf around people and have sex or anything... but she wasn't there. Ok... so I think we got stoned right before going in to the place... We might have gotten stoned before... I don't remember... I spied on people and was watching people meet each other... if I went bald would I have the confidence to approach women even with a visor? like... shit like that... waiting for the right time to eat this massive burger... it was like 1 lbs of hot dogs, 1 lbs of bacon, 1 lb of cheese and 3 lbs of quarter pound patties... or something like that... and then you had to eat the 1 lb of fries and the 0.5 lb milkshake... and like... I knew I couldn't do it once they said the pound of fries... maybe it was 2 lbs of fries... but wtf... this was salty... it was really good... I thought I could at least eat the entire burger...

There was some band there... Whales Making Love at night or something was the song... I don't know if this was a Cake or Bare Naked Ladies cover or wtf was going on... but this is the music in the St. John's. Seals making love? Two Whales? Baby Whales? It would be cool if that was their original song actually...

Like... there is the burger... he gives an announcement... I didn't need that... I thought they could just carry on with their little bar scene without the glitz and the glamour...

Now that I review the video... the black dude seems like he was the owner... he appears again in a later video... I think he was watching to taunt me...

I was so stoned. I hate my face... is that weird? Like the shape of my face? Especially profile? I look like I need better posture that I am suffering through right now. The dude from Philly video taped it for me... I never heard him talk... I mean... not that much... this is pretty funny.

I really thought I could do at least the burger... I had an hour to do that... I think... I don't remember... but at some point... I dunno... I don't remember anything other than everything tasted bad and I was a weenie.

And dude... the girl from the Spyglass came and kissed me on the cheek... and I am all like... "there is no way I am going to finish this..." I was so in love with that girl... I was planning out our futures... She was out and she kissed me on the cheek... Looking back on it,... if I just did fun stuff but had an expensive room or something... maybe I could have gotten laid...

I was still convinced I could at least eat the burger... I think I just drank too much beforehand... and that the salty bacon, hot dogs and burgers were holding me back a little... I like that old guy that sat down next to me to give me some elderly wisdom... reminds me of any townie drunk guy at any bar but here he was special because he could afford it... Mangia dammit!

Damn it was salty... I should have drank water... was that legal? I don't recall there being water given to me but I didn't ask either I don't think.

This video is pretty funny. I love old townies... and locals.

It was so salty. It was just salty rubble. It was so salty. I think I could have eaten more but it was so salty.

I ended being in pain all night and the guys I was bunking with smoked and went to bed. I was in pain all night.