Better to be safe than sober! (Hey!)
Don't trust that liver, it's a conniving loafer! (Whoa!)
Bubble wrap life with a helmet and knee pads (Crash!)
Safety first, then maybe a fifth of that bad stuff (Yeah!)

(Verse 1)
Cross the street? Hold on tight, gotta check ten times
Might be a rogue banana peel or a flock of killer mimes
Swimming pool? Full gear, floaties on double tight
Can't risk a rogue pool noodle attack in the pale moonlight

(Chorus)
Better to be safe than sober! (Hey!)
Don't trust that liver, it's a conniving loafer! (Whoa!)
Bubble wrap life with a helmet and knee pads (Crash!)
Safety first, then maybe a fifth of that bad stuff (Yeah!)

Some folks say I'm a hypochondriac on vacation
But I say I'm prepared for any situation!
Meteor shower? Got a tin foil hat, good to go
Zombie apocalypse? My basement's stocked, yo!

(Chorus)
Better to be safe than sober! (Hey!)
Don't trust that liver, it's a conniving loafer! (Whoa!)
Bubble wrap life with a helmet and knee pads (Crash!)
Safety first, then maybe a fifth of that bad stuff (Yeah!)

Seatbelt on the couch, bungee cord the fridge (Woah!)
Safety goggles for that spicy chicken binge (Yeah!)
Life's a danger zone, gotta be extreme (Hey!)
So raise a glass (with a responsible drinking scheme!)

(Chorus)
Better to be safe than sober! (Hey!) (repeat)
Don't trust that liver, it's a conniving loafer! (Whoa!) (repeat)
Bubble wrap life with a helmet and knee pads (Crash!) (repeat)
Safety first, then maybe a fifth of that bad stuff (Yeah!) (repeat)