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There are some kinds of childhood trauma that everyone knows is bad and wrong, including the child. But one of the really hard things about narcissistic abuse is that a parent can simultaneously hurt a child with neglect and this kind of random control and punishment, but AT THE SAME TIME make the child confused about what anything means. And if you grew up this way, you have probably had to work really hard to GET IT – to see that it wasn’t you, you didn’t do anything wrong, and in fact nothing you COULD have done would have made them rational or loving. And you end up with, basically, a developmental delay on being able to accurately read reality – which completely undermines your ability to be happy and flourish – especially in terms of the people you let into your life.

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