When we talk about 'dissociating', what do we actually mean? It's a word that comes with a variety of meanings – not least because it's hard to really understand what dissociation feels like on the inside unless you've experienced it yourself.

For me therefore it's really important that therapists learn directly from their clients: that they're curious about their unique experience, rather than assuming that they know what 'dissociation' means and feels like to them – and, worse still, imposing others' meaning and frameworks on them.

Because when I experienced dissociation, the most helpful therapists stayed present with me, helping me articulate and understand my experience rather than offering quick fixes. It was this relational connection and encouragement to reflect and notice my experience that I found so incredibly helpful: rather than having a 'grounding technique' imposed upon me, it was my own curiosity and mentalising that acted as a counter to my dissociation. And it helped me to trust the therapist more, knowing that s/he wasn't riding roughshod over my experience or autonomy.

Find out more in this 6-minute video.

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I’m Carolyn Spring and I’m an author, trainer, consultant and Founder of the Trauma Recovery Community. I help counsellors and therapists help their clients recover from complex trauma. Over 40,000 people have accessed my live or online training , and I’ve provided hundreds of hours of 1:1 consultations with therapists to unpick the really tricky aspects of working with complex trauma.

I combine perspectives from both the clinical literature and research with the first-person insight of someone who’s actually been there, and I make the complex simple … but without ever being simplistic. I believe in hope for recovery from even the most appalling suffering … but only with the right support. I support the supporters.

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