Published On Jan 12, 2024
In this video, I discuss five methods. If you implement these into your daily lives with practice and intention, I have no doubt that you will see a significant improvement in your ability to start conversations with random strangers, hold conversations with anyone anywhere anytime, and ultimately become much less shy.
Firstly, let me tell you that if you are shy now, it doesn't mean that you will be shy forever. There is hope. I'm old enough to tell you that some of you might grow out of your shyness with time, gaining more real-world working experience or going through experiences that force you to put yourself out there. However, I suspect that most of you watching this video are here to overcome shyness in social situations, not just work situations. Whether it means approaching a stranger in public, talking to people at a get-together or party, or holding a conversation with your current friends, friends of friends, or someone you might like more than a friend ;)
Here are the five specific methods that I have consistently used throughout my life to actively make myself a more confident person, a better conversationalist, and, of course, less shy:
1) The Hang by Your Teeth Method: Imagine biting down on a mouth guard hanging by a rope from the ceiling. The rope is pulled up, slowly raising your chin and opening your chest. Practice imagining this when you are around others and at a party. It exudes confidence and makes you feel more confident when talking to people.
2) Peacocking: Wear something flashy that could be a talking point for others to break the ice with you. A necklace, ring, or bracelet are all good peacocking items.
3) Wingmen: Show up late for the party; your friends, who are also your wingmen, are all happy to see you, getting excited when you walk in, and others notice.
4) The Elephant in the Room: Talk about anything obvious around you that both you and the other person are experiencing. This is by far the easiest way to talk to a stranger.
5) Make Yourself Approachable: Realize that your body language sends a message to other people. A closed-off position makes you seem unapproachable. But a smiling, open-chested, happy, easy-going person will seem much more approachable. Practice smiling at people; it's contagious.
I promise you, if you implement these methods one at a time, there's no rush. Start with one, practice it, master it, and then move on to the next. I promise you that you will pack your shyness into a bag and kick it down the river.