Today I wanted to get a little vulnerable and give a little bit of context to the content that I create, because some of the things that I talk about and that I will be talking about in the future, I think will be better understood if I talk a little bit about myself first.

I am 43, I’ve lived in Spain for the past 20 years but I am originally from Eastern Europe. I work in IT now, although initially when I came to Spain I cleaned houses for a living, before I went back to school and got my degree. I am bisexual and aromantic. I am single and I have no children. I did have one son that died when he was 2 months old, he would have been
24 years old now. I would have liked to have more children but I guess it wasn’t in the cards for me. I do have 17 fish, 12 shrimp and 8 snails in the aquariums behind me.

I am not in contact with my parents. I consider that they were not good parents, so for my wellbeing I prefer not to speak with them. I have very limited contact with anyone from my birth country.

MBTI personality tests say that I am an INTJ. I’m not sure if that is a blessing or a curse, a compliment or an insult. I am indeed introverted, intuitive, I prefer to think than to feel, and I am pretty organized and methodical. My Big 5 personality is Moderately Open, Very Conscientious, Introverted, Not Agreeable at all, and Moderately Neurotic, although it doesn’t show since I seem pretty cold and calculated, but that is just a façade.

I consider myself to be an intelligent person. I value knowledge and wisdom. If there is one purpose that I have in life, that is to know as much as I can about everything. Despite that, I don’t like academia, I prefer to investigate on my own, which is why I like the internet so much.

I am an atheist, meaning I don’t believe in one god, but I am spiritual. I believe that everything is energy and that the reality that we perceive are just manifestations of that energy. I got more help from spiritual teachers than from professional therapists.

I was a vegan for 5 years but I gave up because it was boring, not because I didn’t believe in the lifestyle. I love and respect nature in all its forms, but I am also skeptical of political agendas disguised as environmental concern.

The reason why I talk about the things that I talk about on my channel, such as personal development, self-improvement and the pursuit of happiness, freedom, and peace, is that it took me a long time to figure those things out myself and I thought it might help someone if I shared.

I consider that my circumstances give me a unique perspective. I had a difficult childhood, in a poor country with clueless and clumsy parents. My 20s were very difficult as well, mourning my son and adjusting to life in a new country and trying to make ends meet. I went back to school in my 30s and got a degree that allowed me to get a good job. I struggled with relationships because I was an immigrant in a new country and on top of that I am not the typical feminine nurturing woman. I am very good at my job, working in IT, but getting recognized wasn’t easy, again for being a woman and an immigrant.

I started on this self-improvement journey in 2019 when I searched for information about resentment and a video from a famous YouTuber popped up. I’ve learned a lot from YouTube from many other creators since then. I realized because of that, how important it is to get advice from someone that you can relate to. I had read many famous books about psychology and philosophy until that moment and none of them helped as much as YouTube did. Because when it comes to the mind, paradoxically, you can’t teach words, you have to teach energy. You have to learn by observing.

I talk to myself and by myself a lot, and I record those conversations that I later transcribe as a journal. It has helped me put my thoughts and my feelings in order. I thought, since I do that every day, I might as well record video as well and post on Youtube, and it might help someone.