Are you thinking and deciding when to have a baby? Do you think you're ready to have one? Watch Paul tells you what you need to know before you decide. You need to know the answer first.

I got to tell you there's a lot of people even these days who think if we have a baby our marriage is going to get better. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is and I'm just going to tell you candidly, having a baby adds so much more complexity to your lives that there is
no nice way of saying it.

Don't play games with yourself adding a baby. If your marriage isn't rock solid it'll destroy your marriage. I remember a TV show so many years ago. I was a kid and the husband went to the doctor after he found out that they're having a baby and he said, "I just don't think that I can afford this and that it's going to work out." And the doctor very wise in his white coat and said, "Well, babies bring blessings into the family." I used to believe in that.

Now I see it differently. The baby who comes into a family that is loving, joyful, respectful, positive that baby is blessed. Baby doesn't bring blessings. It brings a lot of life lessons. You got to learn a lot about being unselfish and giving patient. There's a lot to learn but before you have a baby. If you want your marriage to continue you gotta want to have your marriage solid. A lot of people don't know. We are mistaught in our society about marriage and if your marriage, and don't tell me, "Well, we just argue a little." You should argue zero. I'm going to tell you what the standards are for marriage.

Let me do it another way. Let's say you got a car and you're driving the car and you're here
and you go, "What the heck is that?" And then it goes... you go, "What is going on with my car?"
What's going on with your cars it's not performing as it is intended to perform and you're going to have that thing fixed. You're going to find out what's wrong and you're going to deal with it.
What happens in a marriage if you're going along and you argue? I'm telling you your marriage is broken.

What if you have to find time to be by yourself? I'm telling you your marriage is broken.

What if you're not having enough sex that is based on intimacy and connecting the heart? I'm
telling you your marriage is broken.

Why? Because just like the car is supposed to run smoothly on the road, a marriage is supposed to be producing ever-increasing happiness on a daily basis. It's supposed to be producing ever-increasing love forever. Love has no limitations every day. You're supposed to be excited to see your spouse. You're supposed to get turned on when you see them. Not just physiologically, not just physically you're supposed to be turned on. "Wow, I feel so much love for you." And they for you.

A properly run marriage produces more happiness than you could get anywhere else. You won't get it at Disneyland. They claim to be the happiest place in the world. It's not compared to a well-running marriage. So, you only ask thinking about having a baby. I'm telling you. Think about making sure your marriage is functioning perfectly first.

Now here's where the rubber hits the road. Chances are your marriage isn't running perfectly.
You're not excited to see your spouse all the time and you have your ups and downs and in
this society, everyone says that's pretty good. It isn't. So if your marriage is bumpy but no big deal bumpy. Get one of my books. Read it to each other. Every night before you go to bed, read a few paragraphs, maybe a chapter. You guys will learn so much and your marriage will turn into what it's supposed to turn into by virtue of your own logical effort.

Everything is logical. It's all common sense but you don't know it. Now, if your marriage is and be honest here. If your marriage is streaming towards divorce you got to get that fixed. You got to
take the courses we have and the books won't work. If you're already heading towards divorce the books won't work because the books give you the information which is easily applicable.
But when you're already sliding towards divorce, it's not. You need to be grabbed and moved in the right direction and that's what the courses do.

So, are you still thinking about having a baby?

I'm telling you right now. Be thinking about and do make your marriage amazing first and then having a baby will be an easy decision that you will make together. It'll be an easy decision. It's a
big, big gift you're giving to a child to bring them into your lives. You don't know them. They're a total stranger and you're saying, "Come on in. We'll raise you. We'll feed you. We'll clothe you. We'll take care of you. We'll love you," but you want to do it together. You want to make it a blessing for that child, not a curse. You don't want that child to end up being in a split home,
a broken home.

#marriagetips #marriagegoals #marriagelife #marriagecommitment #marriageexpectation #marriageissues