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**RECIPE**

Cut up some onions and peppers. Cook them in a big pot until soft. Dump in canned crushed or puréed tomatoes and undrained canned beans — roughly equal quantities is a good starting point, though I like extra tomato. Dump in a lot of spices until you like how it tastes — cumin + smoked paprika + oregano + garlic powder is a good basic blend. Simmer for about a half hour. If you want to be fancy, melt in a little dark chocolate. Eat and go do something else with your life.