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I'm walking home after some beers at my local watering hole when I see you. You're absolutely destroyed drunk and you're with 4 guys who don't seem to have very good intentions and against the advice of my buddy I'm talking to on the phone I walk over to investigate.

I was right. You're too drunk to even hope to take care of yourself and these assholes definitely aren't going to. So....I will. Nobody is going to hurt you on my watch. You're coming home with me.