Blester’s Carousel was founded in 1899, when Randolph Natecest got a compulsion to dig in his backyard for rubies. It was said this bizarre idea came to him in a dream where a living embodiment of the United States passed him a note in his gender studies class. Little did he know, this dream would eventually cost him his life.

One afternoon while digging, he struck something, not rubies or gold, but the decaying corpse of the president of the United States. It all started to make sense! After turning it into the police, Natecest used the reward money to buy real rubies, which he’d hot-glue all over his body.

After being covered in rubies for exactly nine-hundred consecutive hours, he succumbed to “ruby poisoning” and collapsed into a pile of bones right next to the bones of his late wife. Any one of his friends, including himself, could have warned him about the ruby poisoning, but chose not to get involved, as it was “none of their business.” Most people just assumed Natecest would take preventative measures, since ruby poisoning was the same ailment that killed his wife. But most people also forgot about the brain damage he suffered from after the pillow fight.

A carousel was erected atop the charred remains of his childhood home in his honor, but no good things can last forever. The carousel got the blesters, and it was permanent... Blester's Carousel remains, but all memories of Randolph Natecest were lost, presumably to the ocean.