why do we love bad people even when we know they're bad?

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THIS IS NOT ADVICE TO GET BACK WITH YOUR TOXIC EX!
we can often feel like people who do us wrong do not deserve our love. but sometimes, we end up in situations where we can't help but love someone who is bad for us. why does this happen? can we separate the attitude of love from the actions we take? how should we think of the concept of "bad" people?

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: i'd love to hear what you all have to say *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 intro
1:58 psychoanalysis
6:13 love as a mental attitude
13:24 equal vs. unequal relationships
15:15 love as action
17:39 what does "bad" mean in our non-ideal world?
21:01 therapy speak

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SOURCES:
bell hooks. 1999. All About Love.
Contreras, Cydney. "Where Are Jeffrey Dahmer's Parents Now?" December 6, 2023.
Elder, Alexis. "Why Bad People Can't Be Good Friends." July 4, 2013.
Han, Yongming. "Do We Love For Reasons?" August 27, 2019.
Mason, Cathy. "What’s Bad about Friendship with Bad People?" March 8, 2022.
Murdoch, Iris. 1997. Existentialists and Mystics: Writings on Philosophy and Literature.
Schwindt, Oriana. "The Luxury of Loving Bad Men." August 15, 2018.
Setiya, Kieran. “Love and the Value of a Life.” July 1, 2014.
Souerbry, Rachel. "What Parents Of Serial Killers Have Said About Their Offspring." September 26, 2022.
Velleman, David J. “Beyond Price.” 2008.
Warren, Tom, & Dahir, Ikran. "The Untold Story Of Andrew Tate, The Internet’s Most Notorious Influencer." March 9, 2023.


MUSIC:
Alexander Ilyinsky — Lullaby, Op. 13, No. 7
Oskar Merikanto -- Valse lente, Op. 33
Gennady Lukinykh -- 21 Miniatures

tags: love, our conception of love is messed up, loving bad people, toxic relationships, red flags, abusive relationship, abusive toxic partner, therapy speak, therapy language, toxic gf, toxic bf, manipulative, delusional, bpd, relationship advice, bojack horseman, the bear, fishes, all about love, bell hooks, baby reindeer, break up, structural inequalities, 4B movement, self-care, self-help, social media, feminism, feminist, patriarchy, oppression, feminist philosophy, gender norms, misogyny, social commentary, neoliberal feminism, internet analysis, video essay, analysis video, philosophy, tiktok, shanspeare, jordan theresa, vox, vice, cj the x, tiffany ferg, alice cappelle, contrapoints, philosophy tube, madisyn brown, chad chad, sisyphus 55, tara mooknee