Are you one of those people who gets emotionally hijacked and react to whatever is in front of you? Especially if you think that person or situation is "wrong?" Do you let people "have it?" or try to fix what is in front of you because YOU don't like it?

Is there a tiger in front of you? If not, why are you upset? Why do you go into fear mode? Typically, because you feel threatened in some imagined way. Maybe you won't look good. Maybe you are afraid someone is going to make a bad decision. May you feel like you will lose something or someone, such as your status or your ranking in the world - or maybe a relationship. That's just chaotic, incoherent, and dare I say, crazy thinking! We have NO FRIGGING idea why someone is motivated to do something - but it is not any of your damned business to tell off someone. Or to fix someone. Or to change someone's mind or perception.

When I re-act, I am acting from my violent childhood. My nervous system is hijacked and I get emotionally dysregulated. There is no tiger in front of me, but the situation itself feels unsafe to me and my body knows it. BUT THE EXPERIENCE IS NOT WHAT IS. The experience FEELS threatening, but in reality, people are just doing what they do.

In my adult life, there have been very few things that are actually threatening. The day my car caught on fire was one of them; I could have died. The day I went scuba diving and my regulator broke while in the ocean; I could have died.

When you feel triggered and you want to re-act in your old way, stop and decide - and even mentally rehearse how you will handle a similar experience the next time.

1. Keep your mouth shut. Don't say anything. (This is a hard practice - I KNOW!).
2. Breathe slowly in and out until your body calms down.
3. If you are going to say anything, make sure you don't try to fix it or change it...just offer some type of love and acceptance...because that is really what an emotionally hijacked person needs.
4. If you feel emotionally threatened, you can always excuse yourself.

Check out my follow up video below that includes techniques for managing your internal reactivity:
   • Following up on Stopping Your Reactiv...  

Sending you love and let me know in the comments below if this works for you!

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