CW: Grief, Suicidality

After four years, its time to publish this project. It’s been great to work with so many people on this project, those who stayed through the whole time, those who joined and had to drop and those who came in to help get us across the finish line. Some of these parts were created back in 2018, I’m so glad we finally get to present them. I am proud of what we were able to create, and it wouldn’t have been possible without every contribution.

Amen was conceptualized as a character study for Crookedstar, in particular his relationship with his faith, and with grief. The script and final presentation of this project, while compatible with canon material, is not perfectly accurate to canon. Instead the challenge I proposed with this song was to depict an emotionally compelling retelling of his story, with the purpose of capturing the complexity of his grief and the tragedy of loss.

Part 1: Sagutoyas    / sagutoyas  
Part 2: BosleyBoz    / @bosleyboz  
Part 3: Sugar Thief    / @sugarthief5525  
Part 4: Ashtrall    / ashtrall  
& Shelly Key    / @-shelly-  
Part5a: Froskura    / @froskura5190  
Part 5b: Amelia Bothe    / @ameliab7626  
Part 6: Tybaxel    / tybaxel  
Part 7: MidnightThunder    / midnightthunder  
Part 8: Zachybutt    / @zachybutt  
Part 9: Zephyrims    / @zephyrims  
Part 10: Mayartimations    / @mayartimations  
& Churimp    / @churimp6187  
Part 11: IndigoSplash    / @indigo_splash  
Part 12: Ursiday    / ursiday  
Part 13: Koerenn    / koerenn  
Part 14: SEGAmastergirl    / segamastergirl  
Part 15: AlexHarrier    / alexharrier  
Part 16: Selket    / selket  
& Jaystarz    / xjaystarzx  
Part 17: NightsAlone    / nightsalone  
Part 18: Koheina    / @merryald  
& alex
Part 19: CranberryTheCat    / @cranberrythecat4555  
Part 20: ThePheonixPearl    / @thephoenixpearl  
Part 21: Kimi Cook    / kpcroxful  

Gee kindly painted a beautiful thumbnail for the project, you can see it on her twitter here:   / 1538311410739986439  

Spoilers for Crookedstar’s Promise following:
For those not familiar Crookedstar, or Crookedjaw, was born Stormkit, and in an accident breaks his jaw resulting in a lifelong disability, for which his mother cruelly renames him Crookedkit as a punishment. He is visited by a cat in his dreams named Mapleshade who promises him that he can become leader, if he will sacrifice everything else. He endures a great deal of loss, his father, mother, leader, wife and two daughters at birth, and eventually his brother and his third daughter in her childbirth, all seemingly in events beyond his control and at times seemingly because of his actions. Eventually he learns the cat who promised him leadership was not from Starclan at all, but a vengeful spirit who tried to break his heart with a lie to separate himself emotionally from those close to him, as punishment for something his ancestors did generations ago. He breaks ties with Mapleshade and has to learn to become close with those he has left and to reconcile with the grief he has for those he has lost.

This project follows his experiences starting with his appointment as deputy, and with the death of his father. He begins to experience a spiritual search within himself, whether the stories he was taught as a child are true, whether he is making the right choices in life, whether the ambitions he has are worth the bargain he has made. When his mate Willowbreeze falls ill after the birth of their kits his faith reaches a crisis point, and in desperate emotion he runs from camp to demand from the stars if his suffering is enough. Grief takes over his life for a time, until he recognizes his surviving daughter needs her father.

Amen was written by Joe Keogh, (vocalist of UK indie rock band, Amber Run) to commemorate his grandfather’s passing. “I wrote this song as the eulogy I wish I’d read for him about how I really felt.”

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