sharing male vulnerability. here Ras Muhamad and close friend/creative partner shares their feelings of vulnerability. turning pain into lessons of life and transforming to strengths.
patience is a part of growth and we will learn to reflect in hindsight with gratefulness.
it is also nearing a peak of this upward spiral for the protagonist's journey in "Kaleidoscope vol.1".
this track was produced by Toke and recorded mostly in Gili Air during their creative retreat in the magical Indonesian island in October of 2022. the hihats were substituted by shells and other natural object that Toke found in Gili Air beaches.

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berbicara tentang rasa kerentanan maskulin yang mungkin jarang terdengar. Ras Muhamad dan sahabatnya, Toke mengungkapkan rasa luka emosionil dan mengubahnya menjadi sebuah kekuatan dalam diri. Rasa sabar juga bagian dari pendewasaan seseorang bilamana kita bisa kilas balik dan merefleksi dengan rasa syukur.
track tersebut di-produce oleh Toke saat Ras dan ia mengambil waktu untuk retreat secara kreatif ke Gili Air pada Oktober tahun 2022. bagian hi-hat diganti dengan bekas-bekas tempurung dan kerang ya Toke temukan di pantai-pantai Gili Air.

produced by : Toke
written and composed by : Marco "Toke" Rais Abin
all acoustic guitars performed by : Marco "Toke" Rais Abin
vocals performed by : Ras Muhamad & Toke
Gili Air sea shells : Marco "Toke" Rais Abin
seem seem sample : Yaad Rastaman
Black Coral Music 2023

Alchemy (of fire and ice)

Verse 1 : (Ras)Everyday like an uphill climb.
With the wind right on my eyes.
Feeling defeated but I’m still tryin’.
To know that I have joy inside, yea.
I alone that can make me suffer.
When I won’t let go of dream lovers.
It can make my feelings cluttered.
Got to make my demons shut up.

Prechorus :
Lost in the dark fog. Didn’t know where to start off.
and when the thunder trembles. Run for shelter.
Won’t be another lost cause ‘cus…

Chorus :
I, i. walk on clouds from growing my beanstalks.
I, i. broke my old armour, I forged and I evolve.
I, I’m… I am pressure to diamonds.
I apply alchemy of the heart.

Verse 2 : (Toke)
Oh God, I was pulled under by the wave.
Hit my head hard, rock-bottom was the place.
Drowing in my pain, salty vision through the rage.
I was prepared for this moment.
Prep talks about strategies.
Confidence on being an anomaly.
Dear Opa, honestly I didn’t know I had it in inside of me.
But look at me now, I am afloat and I’m proud.
And I am walking on clouds.
Oh what a feeling. Can’t believe it.

Prechorus (Ras) :
I watched the spiral as it pushed and pulled me upwards.
I’m still trying. Won’t be another lost cause ‘cus…

Chorus :
I, i. walk on clouds from growing my beanstalks.
I, i. broke my old armour, I forged and I evolve.
I, I apply the alchemy of th heart.
The heart.
Every day like an uphill climb. My soul’s windows through my eyes.