Do You Listen to Reply or to Understand?
Communication Coach Alexander Lyon Communication Coach Alexander Lyon
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 Published On Oct 10, 2022

Do you listen to reply or to understand? Author, Stephen Covey once said, most people “Do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Here’s what that looks like in practice. Maybe this has happened to you.

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So, you’re having an important conversation. You've explained yourself clearly, but when the next person responds, their reply mischaracterizes or shows a misunderstanding of your point.

That’s because the other person was rehearsing what they were going to say while you were still talking.

And it's very difficult to rehearse and listen at the same time. Instead, try this: Think on the pause.

Here’s how to do that:
1. Listen completely and focus 100% on understanding the person. Don’t even think about what you might say.
2. Wait for them to completely finish.
3. Pause. Pausing is classy. It shows respect. And it gives you time to think.
4. Then and only then, take a moment to form your own question or your own response.

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