Me: "What are some of the things that surprised you the most about life?"

Dustin Hoffman: “Testosteron levels! They fluctuate! (…) I would take testosteron, except I’m afraid of getting hair on my teeth. There’s all kinds of side effects, you know. I’m 80 plus. I DREAM about my testosteron!"

Adam Sandler: “I got him… I sent him a box that I got online. A big box of testosteron!”

Me: “How is that working out?”

Hoffman: "Beautifully wrapped!"

Sandler: "It had a little note that said: 'Go for it again, man, enjoy it.'"

Me: "I guess they are giving me the wrap."

Hoffman: "And we didn’t even get to VIAGRA!!"