JAY SHERMAN on how to SHUT UP YOUR CRITICS
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 Published On Sep 16, 2020

Most people are ill-equipped to deal with criticism. If you struggle with the critics in your life—whether it’s a dismissive boss or parents who use hurtful comments to keep you in line—there are some strategies you can use to overcome them.

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The 90s gave us a bounty of subversive, ahead-of-their-time animated shows that never achieved the success they deserved.

And that makes unfortunate sense. Without digital outlets like YouTube and Netflix, a series had to sink or swim based on its mainstream appeal in a primetime TV slot. There was no room for risk, so TV executives had little tolerance for anything that audiences didn’t immediately love, even if the show was critically acclaimed.

That setup was especially frustrating for fans of The Critic, which only saw two seasons despite being stacked for success.

The series starred the distinctive voice of SNL star Jon Lovitz as the title character, Jay Sherman, and its head writers were The Simpsons showrunners Al Jean and Mike Reiss. Even bro-comedy legend Judd Apatow was in the writer’s room, and Hans Zimmer composed the theme.

So it had to be amazing, right?

Well, it was. But that didn’t help it succeed.

Part of the problem was that, in those days, animation was still seen as a medium for kids. And whereas shows like The Simpsons had a host of relatable child characters for audiences to latch on to, most young people couldn’t relate to a balding, sarcastic, middle-aged curmudgeon who hated himself.

I guess I was a head of my time in finding him so likeable.

Critics may have loved The Critic, but ironically, the show itself was about a critic who hated nearly everything, and 90s audiences just weren’t ready to bask in that kind of negativity.

The truth is, no one likes a critic. Because most people are ill-equipped to deal with criticism.

But if you struggle with the critics in your life—whether it’s a dismissive boss or parents who use hurtful comments to keep you in line—there are some strategies you can use to overcome them.

First, and most importantly, don’t get defensive when someone criticizes you. If even a bland, passive remark feels like criticism, getting defensive will likely blow it out of proportion. Instead of moving on, the person who criticized you will only dig in their heels to prove that they’re right.

Instead, try the tactic of fogging whenever you feel attacked. Fogging means accepting the parts of the criticism that are true, while not responding to whatever is inaccurate. In other words, you accept it without caring and move on.

This might sound like you’re dropping your guard to let a bully take cheap shots. But no bully wants to pick on someone who doesn’t care that they’re being picked on. When you put up a wall of “fog,” the stones that your critics throw will pass right through without doing damage. And the critic will usually see how futile it is to throw them.

That may sound easy on paper, but it’s hard to control your emotions in the face of criticism. That’s why the second strategy is to simply breathe whenever you’re dealing with a critic. Getting emotional will only make things worse, so breathe to calm your tension, so you can respond rationally.

And as hard as it might sound, responding rationally to criticism means you have to actually listen to it. Winnow out whatever truths your critic might be sharing, and acknowledge them. Don’t immediately fight back, and don’t respond with criticisms of your own. You’ll only end up in an arms race of insults.

You also don’t have to respond in the moment. It’s perfectly fine to tell someone you’re going to think about what they’ve said, and then end the conversation.

But whatever you do, you don’t have to put up with insults. Valid criticism is one thing; insults are another. If a critic says something that genuinely hurts, tell them you’re happy to listen to whatever it is that’s upsetting them, but you insist that they treat you with respect.

If only Jay Sherman used some of these tactics when dealing with the critics in his life, maybe he would have gone easier on Home Alone 5.

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