This laptop has a dead PCH, but I got so hung up on trying to find a main-rail short that I didn't bother to properly check the secondary rails until some 2hrs into the work. A casual glance at the 1v and 3v rails being shorted to each other should have told me what I was getting into within five minutes.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Intro & Disassembly
05:00 - The GPU is low resistance
15:35 - Power Injection
17:30 - Secondary Rails
21:22 - Everything is shorted together
24:55 - The PCH is Dead