Published On Mar 25, 2014
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell. It's the week of March 21, 2014.
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: / theonion
More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/
show more