What are you? Where are you from? No where are you REALLY from?

Non-white people have varying degrees of hatred for this very regularly asked question by strangers. I know what they are asking but I usually give a flippant response like "I'm human, like you" or say Michigan where I was born. If I am freaked out by the stranger asking I say "Half white and Vietnamese" and walk away. I interviewed my Vietnamese mom, LySa, on better ways to handle that dreaded interaction. She had some pretty great advice and examples.

If you're the person asking that question, maybe try learning the person's name first, then find a way to share your heritage and ask your new friend to reciprocate. It doesn't have to be a cringey, dehumanizing, or exclusionary experience. If you're the person answering the question, maybe we can overcome our fatigue and take a moment to thoughtfully educate.