Unedited recording of me improvising and trying to explain the state of my YouTube channels, and perhaps of my presence in general. You may have noticed I created another channel (    / @medianlane   ), which takes focus off of this one. The video was without preparation and I struggled a bit to gather my thoughts.

As I took my time with speaking it out, here are the key points:
This channel here, Eutra, doesn't seem to have as much potential due to the amount of random content already posted here. While some videos do get a nice amount of views, I can't seem to keep viewers engaged like that.
I think the subscriber count doesn't give the full image of the community. While the channel is getting a bit close to 1000 subs, I feel like a lot of them just saw one of my more popular vids and aren't here to stay. It's the views, the comments, the likes, the shares that matter more in my opinion.
The new channel, if I start focusing on it, is supposed to be more on-topic to deal with the engagement issue, so others would know better what to expect. My current thought for it is computer-related content, mainly operating systems and coding. I'm still not very sure in my new channel, but I hope I figure it out with time. My main worries are that I have to be interested in the topic and be able to regularly post consistent content.
Why don't I just post on-topic videos here, instead of a separate channel? Because I already have plenty of random stuff here, some of it I'm not very proud of. Not a very good look for a channel trying to be more consistent. That way I can also continue with off-topic stuff here.
I am naturally a silent kind of guy, perhaps even awkward, who keeps to himself. That makes it harder for me to reach out to others and find a community or friend group. I have had some insecurities of myself lately because of my social skills, which also probably makes me more unsure about my online presence and wanting to make changes. I'm sure my shyness also keeps others from finding me online.
I have been through few username changes during the year because my previous one was a bit ridiculous and I didn't think I'd keep it for very long. While I was not sure what to set as my name, I eventually ended up with Medianlane, as of now. The names come from something I believe in, with, in the current case, each word being replaced with a synonym. Ideally it should be unique and related to the topic. Let's home the name sticks for longer and I won't have to change it very soon.
An option is also to stop worrying about social media as much and find peace in the real world.

To conclude, I am a bit unsure of what I'm doing, both online and in real life. I am feeling kinda lost and stuck, have been struggling with not being very confident in myself, but let's hope with time I can figure it out.

I'm yet in high school, I'm still young, I have plenty of time to turn things around. Perhaps my lack of confidence comes from me simply growing up.

If you have been silently following me or took a look at this video, I appreciate it.